Bad Romance

A funny blog about valentines day , picture of a pin up bunny girl

It’s 2013. I’m stood in the kitchen of my flat trying to have a talk with my partner. It’s not going too well.

“It’s not about money” I repeat for the third time.

“We’re both a bit strapped for cash at the mo! I don’t care about not going out for dinner or buying things. I’m sad that you don’t make any effort what so ever!  It needn’t cost the earth or even a dime to do something nice occasionally.” ( Dime? I’m not sure why I said that I’m not bloody American!)

 “I’m easy, really I am babe.”  He raises one eyebrow suggestively, I ignore it and continue with my quest.

 

“How about a poem?” He looks at me like I’ve just made a very bad smell or perhaps suggested offing the queen.

“I don’t mean write one yourself” I add hastily,

“You know just find something that describes how you feel…  or even a post-it note with nice words on would mean a-lot, or hell you could nick some flowers from nosey old Mcgubbins garden, she can go screw herself after the hairy cat debacle!” ( a long and separate story)

“ Or maybe I add hopefully, just maybe offer to cook the dinner for once?! “

I am met with a roll of the eyes.. too far apparently.  

“I just want to feel appreciated occasionally, just a little bit.  Yes, you say you love me… but you know actions speak louder than words and all that…  is it really too much to ask?”

 

It confuses me why some folks find doing nice or helpful things for the person they love such an apparent chore? To me, it’s a no brainer.  Only yesterday I went out of my way to take him a surprise, yummy ( if chemical-filled and not at all nutritional) Maccy Ds into work as he’d forgotten his lunch and was complaining of possible death by starvation. Apparently, he would have preferred a burger king.

Maybe I’ve read too many slushy novels and my expectations are far too high. Yes. Ok. Romance isn’t for everyone but its something I hanker after and I know I’m not alone and hey I think everyone wants to feel appreciated!

He grunts something about making up for it next Valentine’s day and I look at him in despair.

Ah Valentines day. The day of love. The day that means you don’t have to put any effort in for your other half the rest of the year as long as you’ve got this one covered. Valentines shmalentines!!!

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Fast forward to this year, March 2020 and Another valentines day has been and gone.

People went out for dinner, exchanged presents and I’m sure had copious amounts of ‘desert’.

Not me. I don’t ‘do’ Valentine’s day. Not anymore.

Now before you boo and hiss and label me a miserable grumpy git, with a heart of stone please hear me out.

I am in fact a die-hard romantic. I grew up reading fairytales. I lived for love and finding my one and only true soul mate ( cringe) and that very special day of all days!

However, as I’ve become older and I guess wiser ( some wouldn’t agree!)  I’ve cottoned on to the fact that Valentine’s day really is just a marketing event designed to squeeze more money out of the poor public. Because hey, if you don’t conform, if you don’t buy a present or go for a meal on that specific date then you must be a very bad partner indeed.

codswollop!!

I’m not saying that others shouldn’t do the Valentine day bit, sure go ahead. There are many who eagerly await the 14th of February as it is The only day where they get that longed-for demonstration of affection, but wouldn’t it be great if that didn’t have to be the case? If we showed our appreciation of one another more often?

In a long term relationship, we sometimes become complacent, failing to notice the little things. Perhaps taking for granted that we even have a partner at all. Someone to listen to us moan about our day, to laugh with, to sit and watch crap tv with. Someone who makes us a cup of tea just how we like it, without even asking.

A therapist, a lover and a friend all rolled into one.

When was the last time you showed your partner that you value them?

Ok so you may not see yourself as a ‘romantic’ – but hey it doesn’t have to be all hearts and roses!

I used to think I wanted flowers. Oooh, a big old bunch of costly fresh lilies wrapped in a silky bright ribbon Because are not expensive blooms the epitome of romance?

Nah. Not really.

These days I don’t care much about posh blooms. They are pretty and of course, if I was presented with a bunch i’d be pleased  ( as long as it wasn’t a ‘sorry I slept with your best friend / run over the dog kind of offering.) But its the sentiment that counts. Give me a single red rose any day… in fact, give me a plastic red rose from the pound shop so I can’t kill it… I have a bit of a bad track record when it comes to gifts of the floral kind.

 Anyway I digress – Its the little things

A small act of affection every so often can make such a difference, something as seemingly insignificant as an encouraging comment or unexpected compliment, offering a massage for aching shoulders or running a bath for your partner after a long day, even just a soft touch or holding hands when you perhaps wouldn’t usually.

So why not join me!?  Lets show our loved ones how special they are!

And remember its not about big expensive gestures but the thought behind the action.

In the words of the fabulous Wendy James of Transvision vamp

“ I don’t want your money honey, I want your love.”

Happy March!

Dolly x

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